RIGHT in the middle...

"And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." James 1:4

On one side of me sat the grandmothers and great grandmothers.. Their hair was "frosted" or entirely white. Their faces lined with years of living and loving. Their waistlines weren't what they were in their twenties. Their laughter was generous and their advice was sound and true. "Been there, done that" was the phrase used over and over.

On the other side of me sat the younger mothers. They held crying and hungry babies. Their eyes tired from lack of sleep. Their purses held everything from pacifiers to Barbie to little green army men. They watched the grandmothers with humor and a little bit of awe. Those women have LIVED their lives. They made it through the sleepless nights, temper tantrums, skinned knees, broken bones, teenage hormones and dating horror stories and STILL have the energy and heart to serve others in so many ways.

And there I sat...RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE. How fitting and appropriate as I am no longer the young mother with a crying baby and I have not yet made it to grandmother status. I am still figuring out who I am at this stage in my life. My body is changing and adjusting to the years and life I have led so far, and yet I have hopefully many years left to gain experience that life will deal out to me. God has so much yet to teach me and it is my job to learn, reflect and endure so when my hair is white and pictures of my grandchildren fill my purse I will have advice for young mothers that is sound and true.

I am middle aged. That is a phrase that I have a hard time saying aloud. I don't want to think about my life being half over. However, sitting in that room of Methodist Women and young mothers, I figured out I am RIGHT where I am supposed to be. I am RIGHT where God wants me to be and RIGHT in the middle of my life.

I was blessed so much by the loving and "motherly" women who welcomed me and the younger mothers to their meeting. They told funny stories, discussed how they take care of other people in need in our church and in our community and it was clear that they take care of each other as well. I hope when I endure my years to come and become a grandmother myself, I am half as loving, welcoming and caring toward younger women around me.

Until that time, I will make the most of the life God has blessed me with. At this Thanksgiving time of making one's blessings known to friends and family, I want to say that I am thankful that I have discovered and come to terms with the fact that I am RIGHT, smack dab in the middle and ready to move forward to the rest of my life.

"The Troubles"

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 (Words of Jesus)

I have been watching a show on Nextflix called "Haven." It is NOT the kind of show that I would normally watch. I am not a sci-fi/horror kind of girl so I am not sure what gained my interest in this show. BUT...it is about an FBI agent, Audrey Parker who travels to Haven, a small town in Main that is dealing what is called "The Troubles" a plague of supernatural afflictions that have occurred in the town at least twice before. These "troubles" seem to affect only a select group of Haven's townspeople, but more and more of the town's citizens, so one can assume that the whole town is "troubled." People die...people and buildings burn...things appear...mythical creatures appear and cause havoc, all because of "The Troubles." Some episodes of this show are truly disturbing, and I am not sure why I keep watching. Audrey Parker seems to be immune to these troubles and she find ways to HELP those who are troubled.

Today, I was scrolling down through Facebook and had a thought. Perhaps we ALL suffer with our own kind of "The Troubles." There are so many people who are hurting, angry, depressed, disenchanted, upset and falling to pieces today. With this social technology we feel the need to tell all our friends about our troubles. While I generally try to keep my Facebook posts pretty positive and upbeat, I too sometimes find myself posting my troubles out there for the world to see. It is a convenient and easy venting resource, isn't it? So, if we ALL have troubles, shouldn't we all be a little more understanding of people's feelings? Apparently not! Our troubles seem to make us more close minded and hard hearted and our comments are equally as negative and hurtful, making THE TROUBLES of this world so much worse all over!

I know things are tough all over. We are upset about our Health Care, whichever side you are on...it's frustrating! Bombings, war, car wrecks, shootings in the local Burger King. Money's tight, schedules are tight, stress levels are high. It's no wonder we need to vent and get these frustrating feelings off our chests!

Some try to buck the system and live more positive and uplifting lives. November is the season of the days of Thanksgiving postings on Facebook where people list what they are thankful for each day. In this world there is MUCH to be thankful for, even amidst "The Troubles." We need to keep reminding ourselves, and more importantly each other, of the good things. We can be a little more forgiving...we can keep our negative comments to ourselves, even if they are warranted! We can be "Audrey Parkers" in this world and find ways to HELP those around us who are troubled, even if we have troubles of our own.

I think I am an Audrey Parker. It's the reason I write. It's the reason I listen to the troubles of my friends...I want to HELP. I want to point to the verse from John 16:33 above. Those are the words of Jesus. He is telling us there WILL be trouble in this world. But He tell us that He has overcome this world! He says that He tells us these things so we believe that IN HIM we can have peace IN our troubles. These troubles will not last forever! HE WINS! God knows what we are going through and sent Jesus to overcome those troubles.

Are you troubled today? Reach out to Jesus and let Him give you peace. Reach out and help another troubled soul. Something magical happens in your heart when even in your trouble you help someone else. You bond and lift each other up. The peace of Jesus allows you to do this. Tempted to post a nasty comment to someone on Facebook who posted something you disagree with? THINK AGAIN! You don't know what trouble that person is dealing with, don't add to it. Pray for them, but leave the negative postings to someone else.

A magical morning worship experience...

"And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Look! God’s dwelling place is now among the people, and he will dwell with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God." --Revelation 21:3

It began the way most of my mornings begin, a drive to work, complete with toast and coffee to go. I started down the road, bite of toast and mind spinning with the events of the coming day. My car soon filled with the music of my choir practice CD that lives there most of the time. I have listened to this CD so many times that I almost don't even hear it....But soon the words of my choir director played through my mind about just LISTENING to the songs and worshiping as you listen. I began to sing the song, as I always do, but I stopped. I got quiet and concentrated on just driving and to the words of the song.

What happened next was truly a worship experience. The words...the beautiful sunrise sky directly in front of me...the sweet music behind the words...all these things enveloped me and wrapped me up inside of them.

"We have found our hope, we have found our peace.
We have found our rest in the One who loves.
He will light the way; He will lead us home
As we offer all to the One who saves us." (The One Who Saves - Ben Fielding and Bradley Knight)

I listened to these words and let them sink into my mind and into my heart. I BELIEVED them and the words comforted me and quieted my spirit. All the things I worry about...all my insecurities...all my doubts and fears...they slipped away for that moment and I was reminded that these things don't really matter.

"This is God in His holy place
This is God clothed in love and strength.
Sing out. Lift your voice and cry out,
"Awesome is our strong God! Mighty is our God!"

There is no higher, no,
There is no greater, no,
There is none stronger than our God." (Strong God - Jason Ingram, Jon Egan, Meredith Andrews)

I rounded a bend in the road and headed directly into the bright morning sun! It blinded me for a moment, but lit my spirit with it shimmering radiance.  For no particular reason, tears began to stream down my face and my chest tightened. The toast that I had been hungry for just a few moments ago lay discarded on the paper plate in the passenger's seat as I no longer wanted it.

"You are good, You are good
When there's nothing good in me
You are love, You are love
On display for all to see
You are light, You are light
When the darkness closes in
You are hope, You are hope
You have covered all my sin...

Oh, I'm running to your arms
I'm running to Your arms
The riches of Your love
Will always be enough
Nothing compares to Your embrace
Light of the world forever reign" (Forever Reign - Jason Ingram, Reuben Morgan)

I know it may sound funny to some of you, but at that exact moment, I felt like I was wrapped in God's embrace...like He was THERE with me in the car, driving down the country road with me. I felt like a child, sitting in my dad's lap, safe and secure and happy.

I was getting closer to work and to be honest, I wanted to keep driving. I didn't want this experience and this feeling to end. But, duty calls, and I pulled into my parking spot. I wiped my tears, took a deep breath and thanked God for being WITH me.

I wish the feeling of this worship experience WOULD last all day, but the world came rushing in, quickly bringing me back to my reality and bringing along with it all my doubts, fears and insecurities. As I walked up the sidewalk, a coworker said something to me, and I started to cry...why, I'm not sure. I freaked her out and she was instantly worried about me. How do I explain to her that it had nothing to do with what she said...

No, I'm not a nutcase...I just had a magical moment with God. I can't explain why it happened or how it happened...if it was real or in my mind. But it happened and I am so grateful for those worshipful moments in my car.  I wanted...no I needed to write about it, to share with you this moment in my life that I hope someday happens again.

What started out as a normal, every day morning drive to work turned into a worship experience...or maybe an encounter with God. My wish for you, my friends, is your own comforting, inspiring and magical worship experience where God comes home to live in your heart for a moment as well.

Praying through the...

"But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31

Ok...those of you who read my blog often know that I use a part of speech called the ellipsis a lot in my writing. You may not know what it is called, but you probably noticed the dot, dot dot. My writing is very conversational, and the ... just helps me convey a pause. It is more effective than a comma or a period. I use it for dramatic effect. In the past year though, I learned that I may use it too much.

The book that I wrote with my two pastors this past year contained a lot of my blog posts. I compiled and organized them into chapters with themes that worked for the devotional book we were working on. We had a member of our congregation who is a retired teacher edit the book for us. He contacted me one day and asked me to fix something. He suggested that I used the ellipsis a bit too many times. It seemed to lose the dramatic effect I had in my daily blog posts. So, using the "find and replace" tool in Microsoft Word, I found that I DID use this grammatical tool a lot...419 times in 134 pages!

This morning, the book that I am reading, The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson, has a whole section devoted to the ellipsis! Since I am such a fan of the ... this caught my attention!

My prayer list is long. There are things that I have been praying about for years, with no real answer from God. There have been times in my life that I just stopped praying for certain things because, honestly, I guess I just believed they could and would not ever happen. There are things that I want for my life and have been waiting for that just never seem to happen, no matter how hard I wish for them or pray for them, but the WANT and the DESIRE for them are still there. I think I just assumed that if they haven't happened yet, they aren't going to happen. I think I give up too soon. There seems to be something hanging on in my heart...

It's that ...that is the hardest. The waiting. The wanting. The feeling that there is something missing or that there is more yet to come. Mark Batterson suggests that we DO give up too easily and that we should continue to circle those prayers AND those promises that God gives us about our prayers.

"And all things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive." Matthew 21:22

"Whatever you ask in My name, that will I do, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask Me anything in My name, I will do it." John 14:13-14

"If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you." John 15:7

While I don't think these promises give us the right to make a "Christmas wish list" of things we want, such as winning the lottery, being famous, or getting a new car, I do think that if we are asking God for things that are in line with his will for us, than he will give them to us...in His own time.

There it is again, that dot, dot, dot that makes us wait! We don't want to wait for the things we want, do we? His own time. God promises that he WILL answer our prayers, but HIS timing may be completely different than ours.

So what to do with that ... time? I am just trying to PRAY my way through it and LEAN on the promise that God WILL answer and I WILL see his glory when the promises come true!

You ARE special!

"However, I consider my life worth nothing to me; my only aim is to finish the race and compete the task the Lord Jesus has given me - the task of testifying to the good news of God's grace." -- Acts 20:24

I read an interesting article yesterday about Generation Y, those people born from 1970-the early 90's. The article talks about how this group "the Yuppies" are unhappy. They are unfulfilled, bored, and unhappy with their lives. The author states that because of how their parents, "The Baby Boomers" brought them up, their expectations for their lives were unrealistic. Yuppies were brought up to think they are special. Yes, everyone may find a good career, but YOU, my child will outshine and stand high above everyone in your chosen career. The point of this being that because they ALL think they are special, and EVERYONE can't be special, they think they are not living up to their own expectations and they are disappointed and dissatisfied.

Well, I was born a couple of years before 1970, but I was raised by my Baby Boomer parents to believe that I could do anything I put my mind to...and I HAVE done many things! But, sometimes I do think that I get dissatisfied with my life because it isn't turning out exactly as I dreamed it would be. I work hard, I dream big, I am ambitious, and I want more. I think sometimes I do think I am special. If everyone thinks they are special, than nobody is special, right?

Nope! I believe that in God's eyes, each one of us IS special. He created each one of us for a reason...He knows how many hairs are on our heads and has each of our names written in the palm of his hand! He has a purpose for each of us, and when we give up our own selfish desires and start truly searching for what God wants for us and start working toward that, then we find we ARE special! In God's eyes, when we are following his lead then each one of us can be top achievers and stand at the top of our field!

Don't you want to be special? You ARE! Ask God to show you HIS plans for your life and then work hard on those plans. Finish HIS race and then complete the task Jesus gives you -- tell others about God's plan and how HE gave you the grace you needed!

Praying in Circles

"So do not throw away your confidence: it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised." -- Hebrews 10:35-36

My church is reading The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson and I have started to pray in circles. I am getting specific about my prayers and about what I am asking God for. I went through my Bible and looked for every promise and every God statement about being a good wife and having a good marriage. I circled all of those promises, (I found 12 -- there may be more). Then I wrote down those promises and what they mean for me. They were action steps for me. I circled all of those action steps on the paper and prayed that I would DO the things I need to do to be THAT Godly wife for my husband.

I am not done circling. I wrote down some things that seem impossible to me...things that I have been praying for for a long time, but things that I haven't seen happen yet. I circled those things over and over and will continue to circle them each day until they happen. That old acronym PUSH (Pray Until Something Happens) is true for me, but this time I am not just asking, I am BELIEVING that God will fulfill his promises.

Does that mean I think those things will happen tomorrow? Well, I would really LOVE that, but I know God has His own timing. So, I will just keep right on circling and believing. It might mean that my pencil circles so much it goes through the paper...I'll get more paper. It might mean that I grow weary of praying those circles...I'll buck up and keep circling. I am holding God accountable. He promised that if I ask, I will receive. He promised if I seek Him, I will find Him. A few of the things I am praying for are big, so big that if and when they do happen, it will be a MIRACLE! I believe in a God who can and does make miracles happen!

By circling my prayers, I am focusing on them and focusing on God and what he can do. I am not a pastor or a Biblical expert and I don't have all the answers, but I DO believe in God and crying out to Him in the name of Jesus. I believe because I have seen Him keep promises before. I have received answered prayers. I know in my heart that God is listening to my prayers. So I will keep circling, keep doing God's will and have confidence that God CAN make miracles happen in my life!

Laughing Jesus...

 

 

"I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete." -- John 15:11


There is no evidence in the Bible that Jesus laughed. I looked. However, in my heart, I know that Jesus must have had a good belly laugh from time to time, even if he is sometimes called "the man of sorrows."

Yes, He did carry the weight of the world on his shoulders in his 33 years here on earth, but he also lived as we live, and must have had some moments of pure joy as well. He loved to have children around him. Think about the smiles and laughter that must have brought! Children were sitting on his lap and standing around him, telling him things that were important to them. We all know the funny things kids can say.

I am thinking about this today because this picture of laughing Jesus was my friend Carol's favorite image of Jesus. She gave me a little card of the picture several years ago and I still carry it in my wallet. It is comforting to know that our loving Savior, who took on our sins so we could be free, found joy in this world.

Joy is sometimes very hard to find in our busy work-a-day lives. I think we think and feel that our joy comes from others...our spouse, our children, our coworkers, our friends. If people treat me right and do what I want, I will be happy, right? Well, I have discovered that my joy comes from my own beliefs and more importantly, my own attitude. If I WANT to be happy about my life and LIVE like I want to be happy, then I find reasons to be joyful. The opposite is true too, however. I can find plenty of reasons to be miserable in this world too...if WANT to be miserable and LIVE like a am miserable, then I certainly will be.

My friend Carol as been in my thoughts a lot lately, since she is no longer there for me to call and laugh with. She had plenty of reasons to be miserable in the last few years. Her sister died of cancer a year ago and her own cancer came on with a vengeance, stealing her ability to stand, and do the things she so wanted to do. But, the last visit I had with her in the hospital a week or so before her death was one of the best conversations we ever had. Yes, she was worried about things, but she also found plenty of reasons to laugh. We laughed A LOT in that hour-long visit. She even had her nurse laughing so hard she cried! Carol loved Jesus so much, and I am comforted in the belief that she is laughing WITH Jesus now and has eternity to be joyful with him in heaven!

I'm going to carry that picture of laughing Jesus with me today as I go out into the not-so-joyful world. I am going to look for reasons to be happy and laugh! Laughter IS infectious! I hope everyone around me gets it too!