A heartfelt tantrum from a Jesus follower

Hello Friends,

I'm doing something a little different this Sunday afternoon. I am having a little mini tantrum and am a bit fired up. God's helping me work through some questions today. I made a little video that will explain everything. 

I am NOT a pastor or have any seminary training, so my thoughts and ideas may not be theologically sound. I'm just a follower of Jesus who is trying to figure out why two of my beloved devotionals are in such stark contrast today, and how this fits in with everything that is happening in our world today.

So, if you are interested in my thoughts, watch this 10 minute video of me talking to you about what is going on in my heart and head today. If you aren't interested, that's fine too. I'm not pushing my beliefs on anyone. Just staying true to who God made me to be. 

Stay safe. Stay kind. Know that you are loved. 💗

Truth Setting Me Free

"So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, 'If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples,  and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.'" ~ John 8:31-32 

During this past year, I have been working with college students, helping them to discover who they are and what they want, all leading toward developing meaning and purpose in their lives. As always when I teach others, I end up getting more out of the lessons than the students. At 51, I am FINALLY discovering who I am, what I want, and learning how to use this knowledge to help myself and others have a life worth living. I also am currently reading Fierce, Free, and Full of Fire: The Guide to Being Glorious You, by Jen Hatmaker. This book has me excited and truly full of fire!

This morning, during my devotional time, I had a conversation with Jesus, who is at the heart of my journey of discovery. Many times, my daily journal tends to be a personal letter between me and Jesus. I don't think He would mind if I shared it with you today. (For my friends who are not Jesus followers and think this is a little weird, bear with me.)

You know me - the real me - everything about me, but you love, protect, nourish, forgive, and give grace to me anyway. You forgive me of my laziness, my lies to myself and others to make myself sound better, my anger, my greed, selfishness, self-centeredness, spite, and childishness. You forgive all that and other sins I may not even be aware of. Besides being thankful and grateful for this blessed forgiveness, it sets me free - not free to continue sinning on purpose, but free to love myself, despite all the bad things about me. You love me. I should love me. I was created in your image, right? 

Loving myself and accepting myself as I am allows me to want to improve my bad traits. That doesn't mean I am working for your love and acceptance. I already have those. I can't earn your love, or my salvation by trying to be better. This work is for me. I want to be less selfish and more giving. I want to get rid of the childish ways I behave, especially when I am hurt. I want to be better, for me.

I want to be free to use my softness, creativity, enthusiasm, connectedness, positivity, and desire to learn, to be a better wife, mother, friend, coworker, employee, advisor, and leader. Instead of apologizing for those things, which I have often found myself doing, I should be proud of who you made me to be and use those strengths and values to make my world a better place.

It has taken me almost 52 years to figure out that this is who I am and need to stop apologizing and love myself! I have one life and one body. I need to use the gifts and talents I have been given for good. This body may be soft and squishy, (yes, I need to take better care of my body, and I am working on that!) but it is still powerful. My heart is also soft and squishy, but I have observed that the world needs a little more soft and squishy love, for there are far too many hurting and broken people out there who need loved on and accepted for who they are. 

Thank you for continuing to help me and encouraging me to grow and learn. It is never to late for that. I am discovering that knowing, loving, and accepting the person you made me to be is in itself a superpower. I will use this power for good. This truth, your truth, has set me free to be ME!

If you are interested in getting fired up and ready to discover the Glorious You, you should read this remarkable book by one of my favorite authors:
https://www.amazon.com/Fierce-Free-Full-Fire-Glorious/dp/071808814X/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?crid=2RBMOJQYWJW5D&dchild=1&keywords=fierce+free+and+full+of+fire&qid=1587736361&s=books&sprefix=Fierce%2Cinstant-video%2C186&sr=1-1-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUExVU4wMlQyQ0xTM0g1JmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwODgyMTI4M01FVEtMWDlZU04zVSZlbmNyeXB0ZWRBZElkPUEwNzE4NzkxM0s3U0k2M0xKSzdLWiZ3aWRnZXROYW1lPXNwX2F0ZiZhY3Rpb249Y2xpY2tSZWRpcmVjdCZkb05vdExvZ0NsaWNrPXRydWU=

Be an Encourager and share hope

"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing." 

~ 1 Thessalonians 5:11 

You might remember (or not!) the old Dr. Pepper commercial: "I'm a Pepper, she's a Pepper, he's a Pepper, we're a Pepper, wouldn't you like to be a Pepper too?" (HA! Now that song will be in your head all day long!)  

I would like to change the words: "I'm an encourager, she's an encourager, he's an encourager, we're encouragers, wouldn't you like to be an encourager too?" 

Encourager many not be a real word, and it may not fit the old tune as well, but it does remind us we should ALL be encouraging each other every day, instead of arguing and trying to get our own way and claiming we are right all the time. We all need encouragement from time to time. I know I do. I am lucky to have very loving and caring friends and family who do encourage me every day. Do you ever think about how many people in this world don't have ANYONE in their lives to encourage them? No wonder there are so many sad, angry and discouraged people in the world!

Being an encourager comes easily to me, but sometimes my own issues makes lifting other people up much harder. I look for inspiration on how to encourage others in many places, including the Bible.

In Timothy 1:3-13, Paul, who is in prison with little hope of being released, writes a letter to his friend Timothy. It is a letter of hope and encouragement. Paul does a few things in this letter that we can use as examples of how to encourage others. (The person being encouraged is the encouragee, which is another word I just made up, but it fits the bill.)

1. Give God the glory and give a compliment
First, Paul thanks God for his own life (even though he is in prison!) and then compliments Timothy on his work. It's a good place to start. Put God first. Then, the compliments. What person doesn't like a good compliment? Make the encouragee feel confident about their skills. This will help them realize they have the strength to walk through this situation. 

2. Boost their confidence
Paul then goes on to give Timothy instructions - to go fan the flame of God's word by telling others about God's plan through Jesus Christ. This is a big job, and an important one. Paul reminds Timothy of the gifts that God has given him: a spirit of power, love, and self control. In order to get through the hard stuff, the enouragee needs to know they are not alone and they have what it takes to do the work. Fortify their courage.

3. Let them know you understand it's hard  
Paul then tells Timothy he should join in "suffering for the gospel." I believe Paul knew Timothy would face jeers, disbelief, anger, prejudice and probably danger by telling the good news of the gospel. Paul knew some people would not understand the message of blessings that Jesus had to offer. Misunderstanding can lead to anger, prejudice, hatred and other dangerous acts, as we see today. Paul had already experienced this. He was preparing Timothy. A little empathy can go a long way to producing hope.

That is why Paul's message to Timothy holds so much meaning and promise for us today. There is so much going on right now in our world that is DISCOURAGING. People are angry, divided, frustrated, stressed, and scared. People are suffering. It is easy for us to feel sad, depressed, and overwhelmed in our own situations. Encouragement from a friend reminds us we are not alone, and when that friend walks with us in these hard times, we can hold on to the strength, courage, and hope they are showing us and get THROUGH the suffering. 

So, sometimes we are the encouragee and other times we are the encourager. There are benefits from both, reducing a little bit of suffering in the world.

Who can YOU encourage today? It's not that hard. Give a smile. Talk to a stranger. Talk with a friend who is struggling. Send an encouraging text. Not only will you be lifting them up, you will be lifting your mood as well. Wouldn't YOU like to be an encourager too?

What we have here is a failure...to PLAN

I have heard it said, usually by those who don't like to plan, "You can't plan your life away." While there is some truth to that, and there needs to be some spontaneity to life, there is room for planning as well.  I am a relatively good planner, but I plan to be even better.

Each year, I buy a good planner and work on scheduling my time so I can get all my things done. I make lists, keep track of my progress, and I LOVE to cross things off that list. However, am I putting the right things on my list? Am I planning the right things that will get me closer to my goals?

Today I was reminded failing to plan can be detrimental to your future. I work with college students. Not only am I an academic librarian, but I also advise and coach first year students and some students who are struggling academically. I had a light bulb moment this afternoon while meeting with one young man. He showed up on time, sat down respectfully and looked ready to talk and work through some stuff. When I asked him for the success plan worksheet he was to put lots of thought into and bring with him today, he looked at me blankly and said, "I totally forgot about that!"  (Signal the facepalm that was happening in my brain.)

I smiled, and sweetly said that was the reason for our meeting today, so we could work through his concerns and create a success plan for the semester. He apologized. Then we spent some time talking about how this was one of his problems last semester. He didn't do well, not because he couldn't do the work, but because he didn't turn things in. We talked about putting assignments in a planner. He said he did that. Hmmm. He has this problem in all his classes. He then seemed pretty frustrated at himself and huffed out, "These assignments aren't that hard. I just can't seem to remember what to do and I wait too long to get s*%# done!" Forgiving him for the language, that was when the light bulb went off above my head!

He was never taught how to manage projects or how to PLAN ahead! Many of my students struggle with the exact same thing. In the testing culture of today’s public schools, students aren’t prepared to PLAN.

I am meeting with this student later this week and I am going help him use an online calendar to input all his due dates and tests, and then PLAN how long it will take to write the papers, study for the tests, and do the reading assignments. I’ll show him how scheduling time for those things on his calendar and setting it up to send him reminders on his phone can help to keep him on track.

I tell you all this because it has been a good lesson for me as well. I have been struggling to keep motivation going on dream board and healthy-living goals. The reason I'm having trouble...I'm failing to PLAN.

Putting time in MY online calendar for yoga and walking is a good idea so I get those annoying reminders popping up on my phone. I want the reminders so stop, so I go DO the thing. Thinking ahead to possible reasons for not being able to do the thing is also important. What if I am too sore to do yoga one morning? I could ALREADY have another lighter, less strenuous workout planned for those times. Then, I am still doing SOMETHING in that time slot, but I'm not doing something that will cause me more pain. Forget "no pain, no gain!" Ain't nobody got time for that! That will make me quit on my goals faster than anything.

What about healthy eating? I need to think through those situations that cause me to eat badly and come up with alternatives and strategies for dealing with those temptations ahead of time. This will help me have the tools I need to avoid those circumstances or make better choices during them. Looking at restaurant menus ahead of time will help me PLAN what I will eat when going out with friends instead of leaving it to my willpower alone in the heat of the moment. 

Speaking of willpower...mine is very weak. I know that. That is why I am working on taking some of the curve off my curves. My willpower, or lack thereof, has allowed the curves to get a little wider than I would like.  Willpower alone is not going to get me to my goals. I need to plan and give it a little strategic help.

The Bible is full of verses about planning. In my life, experience has shown me that when I get the Lord involved in my plans and pray about them, I am more able to stick to them. Obviously, prayer doesn't always result in me reaching my goals, but it keeps me connected to God and I think that is THE goal, right? Including God in my daily life and plans helps me remember that He loves me. 

"Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart." ~ Psalms 37:4

I don't believe this means that praying will give you exactly what you want. My experiences are evidence of that. However, delighting in prayer and a higher power blesses my heart every time, even in times of stress and pain. 

So, building prayer into my plans is important to me.

I am thankful for those times when coaching my students reminds me and teaches me as much as it does them. Perhaps someone is PLANNING situations on my behalf...

Change --> Joy

Happy New Year friends! This has been the first week of a brand new year. This is the time when people around the world make resolutions and are excited about starting over with a clean slate. I have been there too. The problem is keeping that new year excitement going. In the past, I found myself giving up on riding my stationary bike every morning about 4 weeks into that hopeful resolution. Giving up leads me to feel bad about myself and adds to the cycle of disappointment and depression.

Last year I did better. Instead of making resolutions, I made a dream board. I cut out pictures of things I wanted to happen in 2019 and pasted them on a board. I put a picture of that dream board as the wallpaper on my phone so I would see it all the time. Honestly, I made almost everything on that board happen and I was pretty happy with myself. Can you guess what the only thing on my dream board that is still a dream and not a reality? You got it! Losing weight! Even though I made other good things in my life happen, I still found myself unhappy.

Friends, in the last several months and even years, I had lost my joy. I could hold it for a few moments, but it slipped through my fingers quickly and I found myself struggling with sadness and mild depression. Whatever the reasons for this circumstance, I couldn't take it anymore and decided to DO something about it!

So, this year, I am building on the success and failure of last year. I made another dream board. I pasted WORDS relating to the things I want to make happen this year. There are things on that board about writing, staying connected to God through daily devotion and meditation, traveling, and spending time with the people that mean the most to me. Instead of making a goal to lose a certain number of pounds, I am going to work toward leading a healthier lifestyle. Being active, and being mindful of what I put into my body, including more water and less sugar, are the things I am going to focus on. I need to change habits that have been with me my whole life. So I am also focusing on two words, one that leads to the other: CHANGE --> JOY.

CHANGE --> JOY

I created my dream board last Sunday and began thinking of action steps to make these things happen. Monday morning I began a 30 day yoga challenge. I found an online video and jumped right into it. I completed day 5 yesterday. There are several poses this big, out of shape body just cannot do, so today I went back to day 1 and began again. So what if I can't go directly from downward facing dog to rag doll? I want to get stronger...and I am beginning to be!

CHANGE -->JOY

It's working! The endorphins that are released during the yoga are making me feel better. I haven't cried in almost a week and that is a BIG improvement! I have been journaling every morning as well which is helping me put my feelings into words. This is all improving my joy quotient and making me feel like Linda again.

Renew my strength.
My daily devotional verse today was from Isaiah 40:31 "...but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not be faint." 

My knees may crackle and hurt and my lower back may ache. I may get shaky and wobbly when trying to hold onto half moon pose and not want ANYONE to see my downward facing dog, but I feel myself growing stronger!

This is the YEAR the Lord has made, I WILL rejoice and be glad in it. Come rejoice in it with me! There is SO much to be worried about these days! Let's focus on the things we CAN change. I'm just at the beginning of my CHANGE -->JOY journey. Want to join me? Message me and we can do this together! We can compare notes, encourage each other and hold each other accountable. I promise I won't laugh at your downward facing dog if you don't laugh at mine! ;-)

Peace and joy my friends!

"There's nothing sadder in this world than to awake Christmas morning and not be a child." ~ Erma Bombeck

“When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.” ~ Psalm 94:19 

I can remember being a college student and having quite a bit of sadness at Christmas time. The hard part was I didn't understand at the time why I was sad and that upset me most of all. Looking back with the wisdom of my adulthood, I can see that I was grieving my childhood. Christmas loses part of its magic when the kaleidoscope lenses of childhood are removed. It didn't matter how many silly Christmas songs I sang with my college roommate, or how many cocktails I enjoyed with my friends, Santa and his magic had left me behind.

When I became a mother, I picked up those lenses again. The charms of Christmastime returned through the eyes of my daughter as I watched her joy at the lights, special wrapping paper, presents and songs. Holiday stresses of adulthood dulled the joy a bit with money worries and struggling to get everything done, but the sadness I had experienced a few years before wasn't there. I found joy in dancing around the living room with my daughter to the Charlie Brown Christmas soundtrack and seeing her eyes light up in the glow of the candles during "Silent Night" at church on Christmas Eve.

This year, the old Christmas melancholy has returned with a vengeance. My daughter is grown, married and on her own and not able to come home to help with the decorating. Had I not had a meeting at my house a few weeks ago, I don't know if I would have decorated my house at all. Old treasured holiday traditions are changing and I can't even find the box where I kept those magical kaleidoscope lenses. There have been many days in the last month that I wanted to just skip Christmas altogether.  Listening to Christmas music has always brought me joy in the past, but this year, I find that it grates on my nerves like listening to someone chewing gum with their mouth open. (Does that not drive you crazy?) I have shed more tears in the past few months than I have this entire year. Of course, the good ole "change of life" and the horrendous hormones that come along with it might be mixing with all my worries and have something to do with the "great sadness of 2019."

I am a pretty happy person most of the time, so crying at the drop of a sappy Christmas car commercial, or bursting into tears the moment your pastor asks you if you are ready for Christmas is pretty upsetting! So...how to fight this great yuletide sadness? (Besides a good bottle of Carbernet!) Human interaction! Laughing with friends is the ONLY thing that is keeping me from falling apart this Christmas. I truly think that God is consoling me and my anxiety THROUGH the love of my friends. 

So, I am taking this time to thank all the people who have spent time with me, hugged me, prayed with me, laughed with me, cheered me up and brought me a little bit of allusive joy. I am forever grateful to you all because without you, I would be in a puddle on the floor like Frosty the Snowman inside the greenhouse!

Are YOU struggling this Christmas? Are you feeling sad and melancholy? Find some humans to interact with! God gifts us with friends for a reason. Don't have any friends? Step out of your comfort zone and make some! There are so many lonely people in the world today. We are not meant to do this life alone, so put your phone down and reach out to someone and let them know you care about them and find a reason to laugh. It really does help.

Merry Christmas, my friends! Be blessed!

An ode to Larry

At Christmas, I sometimes sit back and think of all the gifts I have in my life...people are the best gift of all and God has blessed me with a LOT of those gifts. One of those gifts was Larry Miller. He is in my mind and heart especially today because he passed away a couple of days ago. One thing Larry and I had in common, besides singing, was poetry. He used to email me poems, or just hand me one at church. They were usually silly...sometime a bit naughty, but they were so special to me and made me smile. I have kept them all in a little book of poetry I keep near to me. I told Larry that I was going to publish a book of his poetry someday. He liked that idea and even asked me about it a few weeks ago. While I have not accomplished that yet, I thought I would share one of Larry's poems with you, and one of the ones I wrote for him a few years ago.

What is Christmas?
By Larry Miller (Sent to me and my husband - 2010)

Christmas is a time for giving.
It's also a time to share.
It's a time for family.
It's a time to care.

People always wear a smile.
They are as happy as can be.
What a beautiful holiday season.
What can be the reason.

We celebrate the birth of Christ
On this December day.
So, let us keep remembering
To give thanks and to pray.

We love you, God.
We love your Son.
Merry Christmas to you both,
And peace to everyone.

Ode to a great man named Larry

By Linda Hatfield (2016)

Have you ever known a man 

Who touched your heart and made you smile?

A man whose heart is open wide

And always goes the extra mile?

Well, I know such a man

Who is as ornery as can be.

Uncle Larry, he is known by some.

And he is very dear to me.

He has a song on his lips

And God in his heart.

He puts his words into rhymes,

He's just that clever and smart.

I have collected his poems

And put them in a book.

I pull them out sometimes

When I need a more positive outlook.

Larry is loved by his family

And the rest of us  do adore.

His jokes and cards can be a bit naughty,

But laughter always has us on the floor.

Speaking of cards, he sends them,

No matter the day or season.

It's a joy to open and read them,

And possibly hide them for some reason!

I wanted to write this poem

In honor of my friend Larry.

He makes me smile and I love him.

In my heart his joy I will always carry.

My dear friend, Larry, I know that you are breathing freely, singing, cracking wise, and making up some heavenly poetry now. That thought makes me so very happy. But, I will miss you and will hold your poems even more dearly. Thank you, Lord, for bringing Larry, and his wife Kay, who is also my dear friend, into my life. They are truly gifts to me.