Finding Peace with yourself...

This week's memory verse:

"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." -- Philippians 4:7

If you are like me, you are harder on yourself than you are on others. Even though I have accomplished much in my life, I still tend to focus on the things I haven't accomplished and my failures. There have been times in my life I have carried guilt around like a heavy backpack, weighing me down and keeping me from being able to climb out of the heavy pit of self-doubt and self-pity.

But, through God's grace, I have come to realize that because I laid my sins and failures at the feet of Christ...(I prayed and in my faith asked for forgiveness) I know that I have been forgiven. I believe and have faith that that is true. If God has forgiven me, then I had to learn to forgive myself as well.

I have a friend who sends me little reminder texts from time to time, saying that I am a child of the most high God. I belong in God's family, and because of this, my loving heavenly father loves me enough to forgive me for what I have done in the past.

I have to admit that used to sound very strange to me. I used to think that sounded so..."religious."...something you might hear some tele-evangelist say on late night tv. But...over time, I have come to BELIEVE it. I believe I AM a child of God and I believe he loves and forgives me. This fact comforts me and gives me strength. Ephesians 1:18-19 says "Oh the utter extravagance of his work in us who trust him - endless energy and boundless strength." (The Message translation)

I have learned to forgive myself and take off that heavy pack of guilt I carried around. It is much easier to move forward when you aren't carrying around a lot of guilt and pain. I still sometimes go back to focusing on what I CAN'T do or what I HAVEN'T done...but now when I see myself sliding back into that old habit, I call out to God and ask my Father for help. I also ask him to send me something else to focus on.
There is a song that, although it is sometimes associated with mission work, inspires me to both call out to God and to be willing to go where he leads.
I, the Lord of sea and sky

I have heard my people cry

All who dwell in dark and sin

My hand will save.
I who made the stars and night

I will make the darkness bright

Who will bear my light to them

Whom shall I send?

Here I am Lord

Is it I Lord?

I have heard you calling in the night

I will go Lord

If you lead me

I will hold your people in my heart.

I the Lord of snow and rain

I have borne my people's pain

I have wept for love of them

They turn away.
I will break their hearts of stone

Fill their hearts with love alone

I will speak my word to them

Whom shall I send?

Here I am Lord

Is it I Lord?

I have heard you calling in the night

I will go Lord

If you lead me

I will hold your people in my heart.
I will hold your people in my heart...

Loving Father, thank you for reaching out to us and forgiving us and for helping us to learn to forgive ourselves. Thank you for holding us in your heart. I ask that everyone reading this will feel your love and find the peace that comes from letting go of the guilt and holding on to your love instead. Amen