Yesterday, I was driving to the store, listening to the end of a very interesting audiobook, when I thought I heard someone knocking on a door. I turned off the audiobook and listened again. At first I didn't hear anything, but then I heard it again, a very quick and distinct knock, knock, knock, knock, knock. I started looking around. Was someone in the car with me? I didn't see anyone. Visions of "the little people" popped into my head. I kept listening but I never heard it again. I know it was probably just a sound my car made as it was warming up. Probably needs a tune up. But that sound has stuck with me.
After breakfast today, I was feeling a little restless, so I went for a little walk around the house on this pretty, late December morning. I started taking pictures of little things I saw as I explored. I have this white lilac bush at my front porch that I am considering taking out because it has hardly bloomed at all in the last several years. I noticed that it looks like it's getting ready to bloom. This crazy Ohio weather is confusing! I snapped a picture of a budding branch. Later, as I looked at the pictures I took, I noticed the buds against my front door. The knocking popped into my head again,
For several years I have felt...restless...expectant...unsatisfied...waiting for SOMETHING. I don't know why I feel this way. Like the picture above, I feel like I bloom at all the wrong times. Perhaps I have been in the middle of some sort of midlife crisis. I don't really know who I want to be when I "grow up." I don't WANT to feel like this...I try to feel content with my life. I am surely blessed with family, friends. a good job, a busy life. I just can't shake this feeling that I am supposed to be doing something...
Who was knocking? Who was trying to get my attention? God and I have always had a good relationship. I listen for God's voice in my daily life and I watch for his messages, like the crosses in the sky He sends me occasionally for encouragement. Is He trying to tell me something? How do I know?
As a new year approaches, many people search for a new beginning. Perhaps that's all it is. New beginnings are a good thing. 2016 has been a strange year. Maybe 2017 is knocking, enthusiastically wanting to come in a little early. That's fine with me.
Whether it's God, opportunity, a new year, my car needing a tune up, the "little people" living in my car or something I haven't even thought of, I'm going to keep an open mind and keep listening for that knocking and be ready to open the door. I'm ready for an adventure!