"Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you." -- 1 Peter 5:7
God is good! I know that is a saying we say, and perhaps it has become trite for some. However, for me, I have found it to be true. Yesterday was an emotional roller coaster ride! It began with a devotional moment in the morning. A verse I read prompted me to hit my knees. So many people that I love and trust have been telling me that my way of thinking is wrong. I am turning into some tree-hugging liberal, apparently, and I am wrong in God's eyes. If that was true, why did I feel so strongly about this? So, right there, beside my kitchen table, I hit my knees and asked...no BEGGED God to change my heart and mind if I was wrong. Later in the day, my pastor posted a message from a leader in the Methodist church that reinforced my heart and thoughts. You may not believe it, but in my heart, that was the answer from God I needed! I shared that post and started a heated debate among my friends and family. It breaks my heart that I seem to be so far away from where they are. But...I refuse to be hurtful or hateful...I COULDN'T be because I LOVE these people. I even love the person who was pretty hateful back to me.
I was feeling both strengthened and disheartened yesterday after work, and emotionally drained. I didn't feel like sitting home by myself, as I figured I would spend my evening obsessed with what people were saying on Facebook (I WISH I could just give it up!!!) so I went to a movie. I had been wanting to see Hidden Figures, about the women at NASA who helped John Glenn get to space in the Friendship 7. I am currently working on a display for my library about these women and about John Glenn, as he is out very own hometown hero!
On the way to the movie theater, I heard a song on the radio about how I should live like I'm loved. I listened to every word and felt reassured that I was right to feel like I feel. I watched the movie, and let me tell you...during the movie there were times when my leg got to shaking so much because I felt this fire building inside me! These women, who were told they had to use separate bathrooms, and that they weren't good enough, were using the brains God gave them and kept pushing until everyone saw what God created them to do! John Glenn, bless his dear, departed soul, saw their worth, treated them like the human treasures they are and TRUSTED them to do the math that was needed to figure out how to bring him home from space. He TRUSTED these women, who most of society were throwing away, with his life!
I walked out of that theater feeling refreshed, rejuvenated and REFUELED! The radio played a song about asking God to bring these dry bones to life! I prayed on the way home that I could explain these feelings to my husband. He never understands my church and God feelings...When he got home from his day, we started talking and it all came spilling out! He listened! He may think I'm a little nuts, but he listened and encouraged me!
This morning, I woke up with the old hymn "God will take care of you" in my head! As I walked past the coffee table, I picked up my grandmother's old Bible that usually just sits there as a decoration. I opened the Bible and look what I saw:
This is a note, written by my dad when he was a teenager, that my grandma kept in her Bible. I have seen this before, but it has been a LONG time! My dad has been on my mind SO much this month. He has been gone for 23 years this month and I LONG to speak to him again. This note allowed me to hear his "voice" and see that even as a teenager, he was searching for how to live like Jesus. I SOOOOO needed this message today!
So...God has taken care of me in the last two days! THANK YOU GOD! There is a fire in my belly! A refreshed spirit in my soul! I will not fight with those who think I am wrong, but I will speak love. I will try to live like Jesus each day. I will fall...I will sin. It's a good thing I have a Savior who will pick me up, brush me off , forgive me and breathe breath into these dry bones once again!
Thank you, thank you, Lord for taking such good care of me! Lord, I am here. I hear you calling. I will go where you lead me. I will hold your people (ALL PEOPLE) in my heart! Please open the hearts, minds and souls of others who know you and call out to them and let them hear you tell them to LOVE and not let fear hold them back. Amen