Peace comes in the morning...

"For in the gospel the righteousness of God is revealed - a righteousness that is by faith from first to last, just as it is written: 'The righteous will live by faith.'" -- Romans 1:17

"The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still." -- Exodus 14:14

"The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace." -- Romans 8:6

Whether you believe it or not, I believe in my heart that my Father God speaks to my heart exactly when I need Him...when I open my eyes to look for Him. This morning was one of those times. I woke with worries and thoughts racing around in my head; trying to figure out how I was going to fix all these problems that were laying themselves at my feet.

Standing in the shower, almost in tears, I stopped myself and prayed. I asked God to take control of those thoughts. I told God I knew He was in control of everything anyway, and asked Him to quiet my worried soul.

A little while later, I opened the devotional book that I have been reading most mornings and the verses above appeared before my eyes. Call it coincidence if you want, but I call it God speaking to me and reassuring me that it will all be okay. I have FAITH that God IS in control! The Lord is fighting for me, I just have to be still and let Him. The last verse confirmed that I can have peace in my heart when I allow God to control my mind. I gave Him that control standing in the shower. He wouldn't just TAKE control...He was waiting on me to give it up and when I did He then reminded me and reassured me that He has my back.

I know several of my friends have worries and problems on their heart right now. I write this today to encourage them and anyone else reading. If you give up control of your mind and be still...even for just for a moment...God WILL give you peace. Be blessed today!

Unswervingly...

"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for He who promised is faithful." -- Hebrews 10:23 NIV

She slammed the car door, turned the ignition and the car revved to a start. Without a moment of hesitation, she pulled the gearshift into drive and sped down the road. Her anger burned in her gut as she wiped the frustrated tears from her eyes. The fact that she was crying over this whole thing made her even madder and without signaling, she whipped her car onto the next street on her right. She had to get out of here! Just as she turned the corner, she heard a loud crash of thunder and big fat raindrops appeared on her windshield. Perfect! The weather matched her stormy mood and she urged the car to go faster. It was now raining so hard that the wipers weren't cutting it and she didn't see the sharp left turn ahead. Her tires squealed as she hit the breaks quickly to avoid swerving off the road and landing in the deep gully on the other side. Unnerved, she pulled off to the side of the road and took a deep breath. It's time to slow down and think about this before going any farther.

Unswervingly...is it even a word? When we swerve to avoid something in the road, we depart from the directed path of the road. We go off course for a second. So, I know how to swerve...do I know how to do something unswervingly? Logically, one could think that unswervingly means without swerving...staying ON the directed path and staying ON course.

The Hebrews verse above says we are to hold unswervingly to the hope that we profess. We are to stay on course with that hope and stay on the directed path. WHY? Or, better yet, HOW? The last part of that verse says that He who promised is faithful. Look at these promises:

"I instruct you in the way of wisdom and lead you along straight paths." -- Proverbs 4:11

"A person's steps are directed by the Lord. How can anyone understand their own way?" -- Proverbs 20:24

If we believe that God keeps His promises and He promises to lead us and direct our steps, the HOPE of that belief will keep us on the right path. We just have to hold on to that HOPE unswervingly. Life, circumstances, our emotions and our hearts will try to knock us off our directed course. Like the girl in the scenario above, when we let our emotions rule us, go, go, go and don't stop to think through something, swerving is sometimes the only thing we can do to avoid the collision ahead of us. God is more powerful that the worst storm and more forgiving than we deserve. Even if we do swerve and lose sight of our path altogether, He will lead us back on the right path if we allow Him to.

There have been many times when I swerved and went off the path that was in front of me. There have even been times when I didn't hold unswervingly to the hope that comes from God's promises. During those dark times I felt weak, vulnerable and alone. It was like I was stuck in the deep gully off the side of the road I was supposed to be on I couldn't figure out how to get out. From the gully, I reached out to God and He heard me. He lifted me up, instructed me how to get back on the wise path and my HOPE was restored!

Our lives are filled with twists and turns...there will always be opportunities for us to swerve off the road. God wants us to rest in the hope that our faith in Him provides for us. There is always a way back to the right course. THAT is what I am unswervingly holding on to!

Mothers and daughters...learning to put up with one another in love.

"Don't be proud at all. Be completely gentle. Be patient. Put up with one another in love." -- Ephesians 4:2

Again, I am reminded of the fact that teaching a lesson to a group of kids at KidsPraise often does more for me than it probably does for the kids! The Ephesians verse above was what we worked on this past Sunday. We are focusing on friendship this summer and this lesson was teaching kids to be patient and gentle with their friends...even when they are annoying.

Well, can I just say this...teenage kids are...annoying! Parenting an almost 18 year old is not fun most of the time. Parenting is NOT for sissies! There is such a battle of the wills going on. My daughter is trying to figure out who she is and enjoying new found freedom. She is learning how to make her own decisions, make money by working for someone else, manage her own money, and spending most of her time away from home with her friends. As her parent, I am trying to get her to still keep up with her chores, respect the authority of the people who still take care of her (her dad and me,) keep her from making life-changing mistakes and I would love to spend some quality time with her every now and then. Many times, what she is trying to do and what I am trying to do collide and cause tempers to flare, voices to raise, feelings to get hurt and the relationship between her and I to suffer. This is not a new story. This same story has been going on since the beginning of time. It is the natural way of things. Children are SUPPOSED to grow up, make mistakes, learn from those mistakes and become independent adults who do not need their parents as much any more. If I KNOW this in my mind why is it so HARD and why does it hurt so much in my heart?

Two things struck me this morning as I was reading my daily devotional and thinking about my daughter. First of all, I need to trust God. He is in control of EVERYTHING, even when things seem to be in chaos. Even if she makes huge mistakes, God will still be there for her. I have raised her to know God, love Jesus and trust in the faith that God is a loving and forgiving God. Even if she runs away from this for a while as she is growing up and learning who she is, I trust in the fact that the seed of that faith will remain in her heart and it will bring her back. Secondly, I need to listen to the KidsPraise lessons I teach. As her mother, I need to take the Ephesians 4:2 verse to heart each and every day.

** Don't be proud at all. Ok, I will be honest with you and with myself...many times my daughter's behavior is more about how people will look at ME instead of how they look at her. What will people think of me if my daughter makes mistakes? What kind of mother does that make me? Yep...pride goes before a fall. It is natural for me to think like this, but I need to be aware of this pride thing, acknowledge it for what it is and put it behind me. It really doesn't matter what other people think of me or my parenting skills. What matters is my daughter and doing what is best for her.

** Be completely gentle. That word completely is the one that is hard. Really...you mean I shouldn't yell and scream when I feel like it? Balancing being gentle with her feelings and saying the hard things that mothers need to say is very difficult. But the ego of an 18 year old is completely fragile and I need to remember that. Yelling and picking at her has NEVER worked...why is that the first thing that my flawed personality flies to? I need to count to 10...calm down...think before I talk...stay gentle but firm...keep my voice low and easy.

** Be patient. This too shall pass. A good friend of mine who has been through this same thing with her daughter and came out on the other side has reassured me that this constant battle is only temporary. It's part of the growing process...I need to let her work though this stage of her life with support, forgiveness, calmness and understanding.

** Put up with one another in love. Gee! You mean I have to PUT UP with eye rolling, a lack of respect, heavy sighs, the obligatory "I know, Mom." ???? Yep! I think it is still my job to make her aware that this kind of behavior is still not appropriate, no matter her age, but I need to do so in a gentle and patient manner. I know she loves me. I love her. We have to put up with each other!

Most importantly, I need to remember that none of this is possible on my own. It is in my human nature to yell, scream, argue, punish and feel bad when things don't go my way. I need to constantly be in prayer that God will guide me and give me the wisdom, strength and endurance I need to be the kind of mother that lives this Ephesians 4:2 verse every day. Only when I give up and let God guide me will I be able to do these things.

I hope these lessons that I am learning and sharing here can help another mother going through the same thing! And...I hope I can remember them tonight...when my daughter gets behind the wheel for the first time! God bless us both! :-)

Burdened...

"May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had, so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ." (Romans 15:5, 6 NIV)

Have you ever carried a heavy box for a long distance or hefted an awkward backpack on your shoulders on a long hike? How about carrying the dead weight of a sleeping child from the car to her bed in the dark? All of those actions are hard work and take endurance to complete.

I also invite you to think about a time in your life when you felt the weight of a difficult problem or situation. We all have things like that happen in our lives that weigh us down making it hard to just make it through each day. It feels like walking up a steep mountain with the heavy pack of a soldier pushing us down to the ground. Each step is difficult and we get the point that we don't think we can make it five more feet, let alone make it to the top.

I have been there. I know what that feels like. In times like those I remember something Jesus said: "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls." -- Matthew 11:28-29

What the heck does that really mean? How do I GO to Jesus? How can I take his yoke? Huh? I know, it doesn't seem to make sense. I have found that when I am weighted down with a problem, all I have to do is say the name Jesus...yep, that's it. Just say Jesus and believe in my heart he is listening and feels the heaviness I am carrying and helps me lift it, making it easier to carry. Just that belief and that simple action has helped me so many times.

"Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens." (Psalm 68:19 NIV)

I don't understand how just saying the name of Jesus helps and makes me feel better and allows me to work through whatever issue is weighing me down, but I do understand that it has worked for me time and time again. God is just THAT good and THAT powerful!

Are you feeling weighed down by something today? Just say the name Jesus and have confidence that God is listening and will bless your faith and lift your load and help you carry it through!

Well equipped...

I"All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work." (2 Timothy 3:16, 17 NIV)

There are days I don't feel equipped to do anything. I feel my skills as a mother stink sometimes. At times I don't feel smart enough to be a good academic librarian. I have burned my share of suppers, so my cooking skills are lacking at times. I have been in situations when a friend is asking for advice on a difficult problem and I just don't know what to say. I have had a child ask me a hard question about the Bible or about God and I don't know how to answer. Yep, there are MANY times I am poorly equipped.

However, since I trust God and His word, I know that He will provide me with exactly what I need to do the things he has called me to do, and in His perfect timing. He has done this for me more times than I can count. I know I just named several times when I felt ill equipped, but I could also name HUNDREDS of situations when I knew just what to say, just what to do or just what to write. I am not smart enough to do that on my own, so I believe it was God giving me the skills I needed to do what He needed me to do.

I also trust God to provide for me when I am weak. In the last several years I have gone through cycles of being content and satisfied with my life to times of confusion, boredom and complete dissatisfaction. I feel called to do something and I pray for guidance and I hear nothing clearly. During those times, and lately they have been many, my mind, body and soul seem very weak and I just flounder along each day, not moving forward in my life at all. I drift away from my quiet time with God and cry a lot and wonder if I will ever shake these feelings. I have a feeling a lot of this comes from middle age and menopause creeping in, but that doesn't help me deal with it. During it all, though, I have kept the faith and hope that God does love me came has not left me. I TRUST that He will bring me out of this, just as He has many times before. 

In the last week, just like the sun breaking through after a bad storm, I feel my funk is lifting! I have returned to my daily morning quiet times on my sunporch and I have been reading some good books and checking my daily Bible verse. I have also been reading the daily devotional that is being provided for the kids and families in our church this summer. All of this has helped me feel the closeness of God again! See, He is again equipping me to get back to the good works He is putting before me!

Dear Lord,

Thank you for this BEAUTIFUL morning! Thank you for the birds singing to me, for the warm sunshine on my neck, and for  your words that bring me hope and comfort. Thank you for once again lifting me out of the funk I let myself fall into. Thank you for equipping me and helping me get ready to serve you and for whatever is coming my way! I hope whoever reads this message today reaches out to you as I have and feels you equipping them as well! I am ready to face the day! Amen.

Order My Steps...

"In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps." -- Proverbs 16:9

For almost a week now I have been reading a daily devotional that my church and small group are reading together. It is a 40 day prayer challenge, called Draw the Circle written by Mark Batterson. So far, it as been very enlightening and motivating for me.

A few things have jumped out at me this week that I thought I would share with you.

First, in the Proverbs verse above, it points out that we humans try to plan our lives away, but it is God who establishes our steps...IF we allow Him to. He will prepare us, direct us, set a path for us, and makes that path secure IF we ask Him to. Our role in this life plan is to ask him to lead us and then follow that set, secure path.

To do this, we must first consecrate ourselves. Oh, no. A big word! What does consecrate mean? If comes from this verse:

"Consecrate yourselves, for tomorrow the Lord will do amazing things among you." -- Joshua 3:5

Consecrate means: to set apart; to be designated for a special purpose; to be completed dedicated to God. It is a process of surrender that never ends.

So, instead of me getting ahead of myself with plans for my life, I need to first ask God to order my steps, and then I have to dedicate myself to God, putting Him first in my life. Mark Batterson says, "If I give more of myself to God, God will give more of Himself to me."

I have also taken a hard look at my prayer life this week. What do I pray for? I pray for health and happiness for my family and friends and myself. I pray for guidance and wisdom. Some things I pray for are hard things, some are not. Some of my prayers have been the same prayers for YEARS! Looking at my prayers by looking at my journals over the years and looking back through the blog posts of the past few years, I see that my prayers are in some ways selfish prayers...prayers to make MY life better, or my family and friends lives better, but NOT prayers to glorify God. Again, I look at the words of Mark Batterson in Draw the Circle, "The primary purpose of prayer is not to change circumstances, but to change US."

I pray a lot of "take it away' prayers, where I ask God to take away some pain, some hard problem, or some terrible circumstance. I don't believe God wants to take our pains away, but wants to take us THROUGH the pain so we can come out stronger on the other side. As a parent of a teenager, I can relate to this thinking. If I make everything easy for my daughter, fixing her problems and do everything for her, she won't know what to do when she is on her own...she will be weak. She needs to experience some pain and hardship to develop and get strong enough to handle the really hard stuff that will undoubtedly come her way. This is so hard for me, as I don't want to see her hurting in any way. Imagine how God feels about seeing us, his children, suffer through our problems. I'm sure he hurts for us too, but knows we NEED those problems to get stronger.

Does that mean we shouldn't pray for God's help in getting through our tough problems? ABSOLUTELY NOT! He WANTS us to ask, and KEEP asking!

"...yet because of your shameless audacity he will surely get up and give you as much as you need." --Luke 11:8

Jesus said these words after he taught the disciples how to pray. He is saying that we should keep asking, keep knocking on God's door for an answer and keep seeking God's wisdom. We need to be persistent!

When we pray what seems like impossible prayers...during the tough stuff...when we are deeply hurt...when we don't see a way out...when we need a miracle...we are showing our faith to God and He will reveal His glory to us. He WILL answer. We might not like the answer, mainly because many times we don't feel we GET an answer. Just keep asking...He will give us exactly what we NEED.

So, today, I pray that God will order my steps on the path that He has laid out for me. I pray for strength and wisdom to keep me on that path, and faith enough to keep asking for God's help with EVERYTHING I encounter on that path.

Here is a link to an amazing praise song that goes right along with this topic: Order My Steps

A loving, open door conversation over coffee...

We love because he first loved us. Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister. – 1 John 4:19-21

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” – John 13:34-35

She sat across the small table from me, fidgeting with her coffee cup and letting me do all the talking. It had been a long time since we had last talked and I had a lot to catch her up on. One of my favorite things to do is reconnect with old friends! After a time of hearing only brief responses from my friend, I asked her if everything was okay with her. She stared at her coffee cup for a while and then looked up at me with such pain in her face that it startled me.

“What is wrong?” I asked as I took her hands and squeezed them gently, encouraging her to open up to me.

“You are going to hate me and run out the door if I tell you,” she replied with tears welling up in her eyes.

“I could never hate you and I am not done with my coffee yet, so I am not going anywhere,” I tried to lighten the mood and reassure her.

“Okay,” she began. “Here is the deal. I am gay…I met someone…I love her.” She said all this looking deeply into the light brown coffee and then looked up at me again, expecting to see disbelief and hate.

“Well…that is definitely NOT what I was expecting,” I said. “Let’s talk some more. And let me reassure you: I don’t hate you and I am NOT running out the door.”

“Oh, Linda! I’m an abomination! I AM AN ABOMINATION! What am I going to do?”

This was the beginning of a LONG conversation. Let me give you a little bit of information about my friend. She and I have known each other for a long time and she has always been a “church girl” like me. She was raised in church and has always been very active with her family in her church. She never married, so she got even more involved in the activities of her growing church and she loves the Lord with all her heart. Her quiet and contemplative personality made her the perfect “worker bee” and many people counted on her to work hard and get things done. She and I have had “God conversations” MANY times over the years, so I know she knows the Bible and has a good handle on what Jesus did for us on the cross.

During this conversation, I found out that this church life she has led has both cradled her in God’s love and frightened her to death. Since she was a young girl she realized she was different from other girls, in that boys didn’t seem to excite her as they did her girl friends. When she was a teenager, she realized what was going on inside of her and she was so ashamed. She hid who she was and what her body was telling her she wanted. She studied the Bible, searching and searching for God’s guidance. What she found there told her she was unnatural…she was a sinner and an abomination in God’s eyes. She buried those feelings of desire for other women down deep in her heart and soul. She got MORE involved in her church and lived a lie for more than 30 years. A year ago at an out of town conference for her work, she met a woman who she instantly connected with and one thing led to another and the feelings she had been hiding and squelching inside came pouring out. Her new friend had had a similar experience and my friend felt she had finally found someone who understood her. A relationship between the two grew over time. My friend now finds herself in love with this woman and feels so split. Part of her is awakening to a part of herself didn’t even know existed. At 45 years old, she is discovering what most of us discover much earlier in life. She found who she considers her soul mate. But, she is also in fear for her soul…in fear that the life she had once lived is gone. She is afraid of what her friends and family will now think of her…afraid of what her loving Savior now thinks of her. How would that feel to think you are an abomination?

She was afraid of what I would think of her. My heart broke for her. There were many tears shed over those coffee cups that morning. I did what Jesus taught me to do…I loved her. I didn’t judge her. I didn’t run away from her. I didn’t tell her that she disgusted me. I didn’t slam the door in her face. I LOVED her. I don’t have all the answers for her. I don’t understand what she is going through, but I could see that this poor woman needed to be loved at that moment.

If I reacted the way some Christians might have, the way she EXPECTED me to react, I might have pushed her FARTHER away from the God she loved so much. I would have affirmed what she believed about herself…that she was an abomination and not worthy of my love and not worthy of God’s love. I KNOW what the Bible says, but what God put in my heart at that moment was love.

So, as I watch the news and the Facebook posts about how we should support those Christian businesses who want the right to not serve and shut the door on people just like my friend…my heart hurts. Why would we shut the door on some of the people who need to be shown God’s love the most? We SAY that God is love and we SAY that whoever believes that Jesus is the Son of God who gave his life for us will receive eternal life. But do we really believe what we say? Do we LIVE what we say?

If I opened a restaurant and I reserved the right to only serve the people who were without sin and lived a perfect life and believed as I do and lived their lives the way I think they should, my restaurant would go broke very quickly as NO ONE would be allowed to eat there! It would be a business without God’s love in it and the closed doors would keep out the very people who needed nourishment the most.

I realize that many will not agree with me and many would have walked away from my friend, letting her know that she was as unclean and unworthy as she believes she is. I am just not willing to let her lose faith in a loving and forgiving Father because of my actions!