An ode to Larry

At Christmas, I sometimes sit back and think of all the gifts I have in my life...people are the best gift of all and God has blessed me with a LOT of those gifts. One of those gifts was Larry Miller. He is in my mind and heart especially today because he passed away a couple of days ago. One thing Larry and I had in common, besides singing, was poetry. He used to email me poems, or just hand me one at church. They were usually silly...sometime a bit naughty, but they were so special to me and made me smile. I have kept them all in a little book of poetry I keep near to me. I told Larry that I was going to publish a book of his poetry someday. He liked that idea and even asked me about it a few weeks ago. While I have not accomplished that yet, I thought I would share one of Larry's poems with you, and one of the ones I wrote for him a few years ago.

What is Christmas?
By Larry Miller (Sent to me and my husband - 2010)

Christmas is a time for giving.
It's also a time to share.
It's a time for family.
It's a time to care.

People always wear a smile.
They are as happy as can be.
What a beautiful holiday season.
What can be the reason.

We celebrate the birth of Christ
On this December day.
So, let us keep remembering
To give thanks and to pray.

We love you, God.
We love your Son.
Merry Christmas to you both,
And peace to everyone.

Ode to a great man named Larry

By Linda Hatfield (2016)

Have you ever known a man 

Who touched your heart and made you smile?

A man whose heart is open wide

And always goes the extra mile?

Well, I know such a man

Who is as ornery as can be.

Uncle Larry, he is known by some.

And he is very dear to me.

He has a song on his lips

And God in his heart.

He puts his words into rhymes,

He's just that clever and smart.

I have collected his poems

And put them in a book.

I pull them out sometimes

When I need a more positive outlook.

Larry is loved by his family

And the rest of us  do adore.

His jokes and cards can be a bit naughty,

But laughter always has us on the floor.

Speaking of cards, he sends them,

No matter the day or season.

It's a joy to open and read them,

And possibly hide them for some reason!

I wanted to write this poem

In honor of my friend Larry.

He makes me smile and I love him.

In my heart his joy I will always carry.

My dear friend, Larry, I know that you are breathing freely, singing, cracking wise, and making up some heavenly poetry now. That thought makes me so very happy. But, I will miss you and will hold your poems even more dearly. Thank you, Lord, for bringing Larry, and his wife Kay, who is also my dear friend, into my life. They are truly gifts to me.

Kindness Connector

I've been thinking about my purpose lately. I mean my divine purpose. Why am I here? Why did God place me on this earth, at this time, in this community with these people? 

Some of my friends call me "The Connector" because I know a LOT of people and like to connect the right people together for the right reasons. A student with a friend of mine who could be a career mentor. A friend is looking for someone to help them with a project and I know the exact right person for that project. Connecting my friends is something that I enjoy doing.

This week I did a "Kindness is cool" lesson for my first year college students. We talked about how being kind to each other is as important for their college success as learning new study skills. I sensed that several of my mostly male athlete class were skeptical of my kindness lessons for that day. But, I pushed on with activities from complimenting and shaming apples to a "string theory" lesson where they had to compliment each other to see how connected we really are to the kind things we hear about ourselves.

Not all the First Year Seminar instructors would do this kind of lesson. It is probably not academic enough. However, I hear things students say to and about each other around campus. I hear and see the mean and demeaning things that humans say to each other in social media and even walking down the street every day. Like the apple that was insulted and dropped on the floor several times, our insides get pretty brown, bruised, and ugly after hurtful things are said to us. 

So why was I compelled to teach my mostly masculine class about kindness and risk them thinking I am some wack job, cake professor they don't have to take seriously? It is my purpose. I am a connector. I am a Kindness Connector. Instead of fighting and being embarrassed at who I am, I am going to begin embracing the soft-hearted person God made me to be and TRUST God's purposes and plans for me. Being soft-hearted doesn't make me weak. It takes courage and bravery to be soft in this hard world. It takes perseverance to get back up and stay kind when tough things happen. And tough stuff HAS happened. But, I stay connected to God...every day. He encourages me and makes me see that He is with me, pushing me and walking with me through the tough stuff.  This makes it easier for me to stay connected to my purpose on this earth.  The world needs a little softness to take the edges off the hard, 

I am a connector. A kindness connector.

A 50 year old's birthday gift from Mr. Rogers

I'm 50 years old today. I am tempted to post a picture of "Sally O'Malley" from Saturday Night Live and say something funny like "And I can KICK!" But, this morning, I am thinking deeper thoughts. (Which brings to mind another SNL reference I will let pass..)

My birthday present to myself this morning was an early morning visit to the sun porch and I watched "Mr. Rogers & Me." I loved Mr. Rogers when I was a kid and now as an adult, I value his kindness, his softness, and his lessons even more than I did then.

I have been working on "ruthlessly eliminating hurry from my life" which is advice from another favorite author of mine, Dallas Willard. I am SO busy all the time, with good things, of course, but so many things that I don't have time to write or think as I would like to. When I am so busy, I don't take time to look around me and be moved or touched by something I think is beautiful, noble or sacred. Mr. Rogers said that he thinks many of the problems we have in this world today happen because people don't take time to do that. When we can't see the beautiful, noble and sacred things around us, we don't see the value of this life, so we don't treasure and value life at all. We just rush from day to day, from task to task, throwing things and people away left and right.

For example, as I sit here and type these words on my sun porch, a rain storm is brewing. I am enjoying the refreshing, cool breeze and observing the contrast in the sky from the blue and sun that was there a moment ago to the dark, brooding clouds that have covered everything. I used to love storms when I was a kid, especially sitting in the old barn on the farm, listening to the rain hitting the old tin roof and watching the storm come and go. I rarely take time to observe and enjoy things like that anymore because honestly, I am either rushing to get somewhere or have my face in my phone. I don't appreciate the beauty that is around me everyday.

I have written before about how I don't enjoy silence. I don't know why it scares or bothers me so. It seems I always have some sort of music or other noise playing around me, distracting me and pulling for my attention. What do I miss by not listening to the silence?

"Be still and know that I am God."  Psalm 46:10  Why does God want me to be still in order to know that He is God? I believe it's because He speaks to us in the silence. With so much noise and distraction in our ears and in front of our faces every day, no wonder the world believes there is no God. They CAN'T hear Him!

Fred Rogers understood. He practiced being silent from time to time and allowed God to speak to his soul. From that understanding he said, "Deep and simple is far more essential than shallow and complex." How true. When we give ourselves the time and the silence to go deeper into our own hearts and simply BE, we open our souls up and this allows us to see the beauty within ourselves. "Treat others the way you want to be treated" only works if you value and love yourself first. I don't mean a selfish kind of love for yourself, where you only want what you want...but truly loving and appreciating who you are. When you can do that for yourself, you can do it for others too.

My 50th birthday has been bothering me for months. Why? It's not really because of the menopause, wrinkles, gray hairs and aches and pains that have been hitting me recently. It's really because there is SO MUCH more I wanted to do with my life and I am running out of good years! I have wasted so many years trying to figure out who I wanted to be when I grow up. It has taken me 50 years to figure out that I just need to be me.

So, on this 50th birthday,  instead of lamenting about getting older, I am looking forward to the next phase of my life. I will strive to fill my life with a few more silent moments and enjoy the messages that I find there. I will learn to be still and just BE. I will surround myself with people I love and invite new friends into my life as well. I will be excited for the new adventures ahead of me. There are still good times to be had! Oh, and by the way, I CAN still kick! ;-)

"Often when you think your're at the end of something, you're at the beginning of something else." -- Fred Rogers

Thank you Mr. Rogers!

A deer story about worry...

Picture taken from: https://driversprep.com/when-you-see-deer-crossing-the-road/ 

She sat behind the wheel of her car with the engine running in her driveway. Her hands were on the wheel, 10 and 2, knuckles turning slightly white from the pressure.

“What if I hit a deer too?” she thought. “What if I swerve and go off the road and roll my car and die? Or, what if I hit the deer straight on and do a lot of damage to my car? I HAVE to have a car to drive to work! I don’t have enough money to get a new car and my insurance isn’t that great. Or what if I am badly injured? I HATE hospitals!”

Panic, fear, and worry had taken over her mind ever since she got the call that the third person in her immediate family had hit a deer in the last week.  She considered herself a good driver, but with deer on rural roads, it didn’t matter if you were a good driver or not, damage could still be done. She had just heard a story on the radio where an insurance adjuster suggested that more accidents and injuries were caused by people swerving to miss a deer or other animal in the road. Swerving often times causes people to lose control and go off the road, possibly rolling the car. Just hitting the animal would still do damage to the car, but could avoid other, more serious consequences.

“What if I can’t think that fast and I swerve anyway and roll my car?” Anxiety and fear seemed to have her frozen in her running car, unable to back out of the driveway. “What if I swerve and hit another car? I could not only hurt myself, but someone else!”

STOP!

Our “what ifs” can paralyze us, can’t they? The person in this story sounds a little overly dramatic, but we do this kind of thinking all the time. Worrying comes in all shapes and sizes, from how we are going to pay the bills, get good grades, avoid health issues, or find someone to marry, to more serious ones like weapons of mass destruction, world wars and the end of the world itself.

Jesus asked his disciples, “Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” – Matthew 6:27    As usual, the wisdom of Jesus can speak to us even today. Worrying and trying to avoid the troubles that are surely going to come only gives us wrinkles and ulcers. It does nothing to stop the troubles.

Perhaps the suggestion of hitting a problem head on instead of swerving to miss it is also good advice. In the past, I have run from confrontation. I hate to upset people and have tried everything I can think of to avoid hard situations. Yes, I even worry about causing other to worry!

In hindsight though, avoiding the problem NEVER makes it go away and usually makes it worse. Like a swerving car, I tend to get myself out of control trying to avoid or fix a problem without really dealing it with it first. While Jesus said that worrying doesn’t help, he told us what to do instead.

“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” – Matthew 6:33-34

So, instead of sitting paralyzed behind the wheel, afraid to pull out of the driveway, the woman in the story above should just say a little prayer, let go of the worry and the “what ifs,” hit the accelerator and drive on down the road.

There will always be deer on the road. There will always be trouble.  Trusting God to take care of you is hard, but it is better than letting worry paralyze you. Trusting can bring you peace.