What do you see when you look in the mirror? There are times I look at my reflection and I don't like what I see. I am not just talking about how my face and my body don't look the way I would like them to look. I mean, yes, I see the wrinkles, grey hairs and bulges I would rather not admit were there, but there are also things I see that most people do not see. I see reflections of the person I don't want to become. I see the angry words said in haste. I see the bad habits I try to hide. I see the pride and vanity that sneaks in and steals the joy from the things I love to do. I see the weak spirit, jealousy and indifference that keep me from doing the things I know I should. I see the pettiness that keeps me from letting things go. I see the low self esteem and fear that keep from following through and doing the big things I dream of doing. I see the things about myself that cause me the greatest anxiety. It makes me want to take my flat iron and throw it into the mirror, crashing through the unappealing reflection I see so I can look at it no more. I do NOT want to be THAT person!
However, instead of crashing the mirror and hiding the reflection, perhaps I need to evaluate that reflection. Maybe I am not seeing things how they really are, but how I AM at that moment. I am a human being and by my very nature, I am not perfect. I have flaws: physical, emotional and spiritual. When gazing at THAT reflection, who could POSSIBLY love me? At THAT moment, I am not very lovable, but there is one who DOES love me, my creator and Heavenly Father.
“You are all children of the light and children of the day. We do not belong to the night or to the darkness.” 1 Thessalonians 5:5
"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love." 2 Corinthians 5:17
"Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand" Isaiah 41:10
God DOES love me! I don't have to let the darkness of my reflection I see right now dictate who I am becoming! When I am slipping off the mountain into despair, God loves me enough to support me. He loves me enough to lift me up and strengthen me so I can do the hard work of examining and changing those human flaws. God loves me DESPITE those flaws and knows me well enough to NOT want me become the person I don't want to become! That knowledge consoles me during these times of hard reflection, eases the anxiety in my heart and brings me joy. If my creator Father can love even the ugly parts of me, I have hope that I can change!
Sometimes it is good to look at the reflection you don't like to see. When I look deeply at the reflection of who am becoming, I then can see past the flaws and love myself despite my flaws as well. I can then look even deeper and see that I really AM created in God's image! I can see the beauty of God reflected back at me! I can do the hard work and allow GOD to change who I am becoming!
Dear loving and gentle Father, today allow me to look into the mirror and see YOU looking back at me! Please help me to feel your love enough to allow you to lift me up and support me in these times of self doubt and fear. Thank you for reminding me I am worthy of your love because you created me in your own image! I CAN become the person you want me become! Change is not easy, but it is doable when I have the joy and hope that comes with the acceptance of your unconditional love. Amen.