Wednesday, August 8, 2012
"Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrafice, holy and pleasing to God - this is true and proper worship." -- Romans 12:1
As many of you know, I have a had a life-long battle with my weight. I have been "plus-sized" my whole life, and it has been a constant source of frustration to me. I can't wear the clothes I want to, I feel self-conscience all the time, I don't have the self-confidence I desire, I am always worried that someone is looking at me and judging me because I am fat. I have had moments of losing some pounds and feeling good about myself, but I always slip into old habits and either gain it back, or stop losing, so I never get to my "ideal" weight. I have still accomplished many great things and have a wonderful life full of friends, family and many, many blessings, but the weight issue is always there.
Lately, I have been having feelings of not being "good-enough"...my mind plays this track in my head...I'm not "good enough" at everything I try to really reach my goals. Not a "good enough" singer, not a "good enough" mother, not a "good enough" writer, not a "good enough" wife... No one has said this to me or made me believe this about myself, it's all in my head...it's not rational. I know what a strong, talented and loving woman I have become with God's help, and I know that the track in my head is all lies. And, because I know this...I am praying that I can put those feelings behind me and finally, after 44 years, love me for who I am...ALL of me...the way that God loves me. I try to look at others through the eyes of Jesus...can I learn to look at myself through his eyes as well?
I believe that I CAN do that with God's help. So, I want to offer my body and all its flaws as a living sacrafice. God's not finished with me yet...He has big plas for me, and I AM "good enough" for him! Offering myself to God means that I give up my selfish desires for my life and surrender to God's will. Figuring out what God's will is for my life is the challenge, but I pray I open my mind and my heart and listen for God's urging and guiding. I pray that the negative track playing in my mind is replaced with encouragement that allows me to praise God instead of tearing down his beautiful creation that is within me.
I know that I am not the only one in the world with "not good enough" thoughts playing in my head. If you struggle with this everyday too, reach out to God. He will reach back and give you an encouraging message to let you know he's there and loves you for who you are. You might hear a song on the radio, or get a call from a friend, or read a line in a book, or get a compliment from a sstranger....who knows what form God will choose to speak to you, but he will and this will give you a reason to praise Him for being a God who cares and you will start BELIEVING that you are good enough for God!